What My Dog Taught Me About Letting Go

This is Gus. I believe she is here to teach me about letting go of my need to control everything.

Gus — a female lab-mix who does not subscribe to gender norms — is our family dog. She lived in the Konen household before I got here and we’ve come a long way in our relationship. At first, I was overwhelmed by her energy and she didn’t much care to recognize my authority.

After almost two years of cohabiting, she’s my sweet shadow and has inspired a mild amount of jealousy in the Konen boys because I seem to be her favorite now.

The Story of Gus and I

Gus is a high-energy, spaz of a dog. Most of the time, she’s sweet and calm, but she has triggers in which it seems as if a switch in her brain turns off all sense of her control. Two major ones: someone’s at the door and I get out the leash for a walk.

I’ve been working with Gus on her leash etiquette and she’s been doing really well. So well, that I was getting more comfortable and thought I could handle bringing my coffee with us on the morning walk.

Immediately after I put her leash on, she knocked my full coffee cup off the table with that characteristically dangerous lab tail. After lots of cussing and cleaning, I decided to try again — but both mine and Gus’s energy was off the charts at this point. We made it about a block before she spilled the new coffee in my hand, I let my anger get the best of me, and I turned around towards home.

What My Dog Taught Me About Letting Go

On the return trip, I was thinking about how much more I enjoyed the days where I could take Gus out to areas where she didn’t have to be on a leash.

Was she any calmer on these days? No. Was I? Yup. And it dawned on me….

It was the fact that I couldn’t CONTROL Gus that bothered me. I was trying to make her move in a very specific way: calm, straight, no tail wagging, no jumping. But you know what happens when I let Gus run free?

She’s spazzy. She runs. She jumps. She spins that tail like a helicopter. AND I DON’T CARE. Because I’m no longer worried about control. I let go. I let her be exactly what she is — and we both benefit from it.

Life Lessons From the Dog

I understand that because there are other people in the world that I have to walk my dog on a leash within city limits. We can’t always eliminate the need for order and control in our lives.

I also can’t take her out to a leash-free zone everyday.

But what I CAN do is have a better understanding of how to navigate my personal needs for control. When I already know that Gus is a spaz, why would I set a full cup on a coffee table with a dangerous tail swinging?

Why get mad at her for her pure enthusiasm in a walk?

We always make it out the door. Nobody gets hurt. We both get some exercise and outside time. All the elements I get annoyed with don’t matter.

What needs to change is ME. My perspective and attachment to control is the thing that can change.

We really don’t deserve dogs.